If you are looking for a Facebook opener, try the Facebook song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSnXE2791yg 

Netsmartz.org is a non-faith based organization that also has produced some excellent videos that make kids aware of the dangers of the internet.  The videos are well done and have discussion questions that go along with.  You can access those videos at:  http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/reallife.htm

If you don't have internet access but want to show a youtube video, try http://www.zamzar.com/ a free video conversion site.  (Use of the site is predicated on the fact that you will use the converted files in a way consistent with copyright rules) 

So think about how the technology our kids use may be reshaping their experience of community.  First of all, the idea of "place" has certainly changed.  Kids feel more comfortable talking on cell phones and computers than in engaging the people sitting next to them.  The idea of being together in a physical space has more power than we probably understand. Conflict has also changed.  It is much easier to hit and run with a text message or a Facebook comment than to sit down and actually work out differences.  Conflict has become more a means of expressing rage and negative emotion than a means of building cohesiveness and understanding in a community.  Commitment to a primary community has also been impacted as kids are involved in busy schedules and social networks that connect them, in a cursory way, with multiple groups, each having very little to do with one another.  Finally, because kids can really pick and choose who they will hang out with, they often choose homogeneity over diversity.  They are rarely "forced" to interact with people who are different than them or who may force them to see themselves from a different perspective.

So what does this changing idea of community mean for a youth leader who is committed to helping young people grow up to become mature men and women of God?  Part of the equation HAS to be a strong community.  For instance, how can kids see what a Christian businessman or a godly woman in leadership, or an unselfish senior citizen or a loving single adult might look like if it isn't in a Christian community?  How can they find out who they are and what they can become and what it looks like to trust God for the big and small things if it isn't through community?  And how can they truly experience the love of God if it isn't through people of all ages coming around them and helping them in the growing up process?

 Community is no longer a given in our culture.  We can't assume our kids understand it or engage in it. Technology has changed how we spend time together.  It has also caused one of the biggest generation gaps we have ever seen.  We need to do all we can to help our kids value the idea of community.  We need to re-engage them into the church community.  We need to help them work through conflicts in youth group in a way that builds cohesiveness and understanding and long-term commitment. Basically, we need to help them value and understand the concept of Christian community that is so clearly taught in scripture. 

We can't help these kids on our own.  God has something even better in mind.  Hilary may have actually gotten part of it right.  It really does take a village to raise a child.
 Let's not let technology take that village away.

Luckily, our kids have found a place to work through those complexities.  They can articulate complex emotions--right at the time they happen.  They don't have to really meditate, contemplate, or process what those emotions might mean or where they are coming from.  Instead they can turn on their computers and simply spew. Unfortunately, the spewing can make a mess.

One thing you may have noticed is that kids are much more willing to self-disclose VERY deep parts of themselves online.  On one hand, that can be good.  It becomes a place where they can be honest and take off their masks.  On the other hand, it can be bad.  When they take off their masks and share their hearts, they often have no idea who is on the other side.  They often have no idea who may be reading their Myspace or Facebook blog.  The person they are Instant Messaging may be disinterested, disengaged, or distrustful.  What feels so good to get off their chest may come back to haunt them in the form of hurtful comments from their friends or enemies or may catapult unhealthy romantic relationships into dangerous territory. I believe our kids are struggling with unhealthy boundaries on a scale that we do not even comprehend.

So, what do we do?  First of all, we need to role model healthy self-disclosure.  That usually means a deep conversation that begins online should quickly move offline.  We tend to be much better equipped to manage our boundaries in a face to face environment.  Second, why not encourage kids to engage in the old-fashioned tradition of journaling. That way they can get their feelings out AND maintain control over who might see what they have written.  If kids really want to share their heart with someone, challenge them to write it down, then wait a day or two.  That gives them time to think and process before they share.

 We live in a complex time and our kids need space to work through what it means to grow up.  A little encouragement to move offline to work through that process can help them develop healthy boundaries that will ultimately serve them well as they grow into thoughtful young men and women. 

A podcast is simply a recording that has been uploaded to a website. I have found they are really easy to put together on a Mac, but I'm sure a PC can make it work too. With a tool like Garage Band, you can mix voice recordings, music, interviews, even videos.  That means anytime you have something interesting going on at church, you can record it.  One of the easiest things to do would be to podcast the talks that are given in a Wednesday or Sunday meeting.  A quick upload and kids can catch up on things they may have missed.  That, however, is just the beginning.

For instance, you could have kids record their testimonies.  You could have a pre-Wednesday night podcast where you pose some questions.  You could have devotionals, complete with scripture and the latest Christian music.  You could do "radio" shows with kids or Bible characters.  You could have groups of kids produce a weekly podcast--interviewing their friends or playing music or sharing poetry or stories. What Woodcrest Church has done is to make podcasts of interviews the two leaders have with small groups of kids--much like small focus groups.  The interviews might be tied to the themes they are working on during their group Bible studies.  According to the youth pastors, kids love to hear their friends on these podcasts and REALLY get excited about  being asked to be part of an interview group.

Podcasting is just another way to use technology to engage and motivate kids.  I know I have begun developing podcasts for my classes and am assigning students to create them in lieu of certain writing assignments.  It's a new way to get them thinking about important ideas.  So, next time you are wondering how to educate and motivate your kids, why not try a podcast?

To listen to some fun podcasts, visit Woodcrest's website at:  http://www.woodcreststudents.org/ 

I'll be honest.  I struggle with this issue. There is no way to get around it: Halo 3 is all about killing.  It is rated M and full of violent themes.  That means the games can't even be bought by kids unless they are at least 17 years old.  There are plenty of youth group kids who have decided (or have had their parents decide for them) that these are not the kinds of things they want to have their minds filled with.  By sponsoring Halo tournaments there is no way to ignore the message that the church is endorsing violent video games. These tournaments will also doubtlessly become the target of church elders' and parents' passionate criticisms. Is this a hill we are willing to die on?  But, even more generally, is Halo 3 really the best we can do?  In an effort to appear relevant, are we sacrificing our souls--the very thing that sets us above all the junk in our culture?

Personally, these video games frustrate and discourage me.  I hate the way our kids are becoming desensitized to violence and sex.  It seems like the far-reaching implications to kids' moral development are significant.  However, I also have to acknowledge, I am a middle aged woman who has never really sat down and spent enough time getting into these games to really appreciate them.  My guy students consistently talk about how important these games are to the way they get to know each other.

So, perhaps there is a middle ground.  Here's what I think. If you are planning a Halo party, don't miss the opportunity to use the technology to transition into issues of spiritual importance.  That may very well involve a post-tournament discussion of good and evil--themes that are quite evident in the game.  I would also suggest looking for less violent games to engage kids.  Whether it be Guitar Hero, Grand Turismo, or Madden's NFL, there are lots of ways for a creative youth minister to get kids' adrenaline pumping.  I guess my recommendation is the same for any other piece of technology.   We need to think of it as a tool.  We can't use technology just for the sake of using it or because it's popular.  We need to be intentional and wise about what we gain and what we give up. So, before requesting 4 more large screen t.v.s from the youth budget, I would strongly suggest considering the good and bad points of using the church as a Halo killing field.

According to recent research found in the October 2007 issue of Cyberpsychology and Behavior, online gaming tends to make the bad things worse and the good things better.  First, the bad things.  The most compelling finding was that those study participants who played online video games played 3 times more than those who played single-player games.  That resulted in decreased sleep, more health problems, more interference with real-life socializing, and more trouble with academic tasks. On the positive side, those who interacted with others while they played their video games had more fun and made new friends.  The study found that online, multi-player video games can "foster strong feelings of virtual support and new friendships".

I have personally seen the effects of excessive screen time.  As a freshmen advisor, I have watched guys get into academic trouble in college because they can't put down their video game consoles.  According to one student, "I watched my real-life friends go out and have a good time while I stayed in my dorm room playing games.  Pretty soon I lost almost all of my real-life friends."  The online chat function seems to make these games even harder to put down.  On the flip side, video games really do connect and bond guys in amazing ways.  Quiet, normally unconfident guys can suddenly become expert and valued team members as they steal cars, shoot bad guys, and defeat evil with other guys from youth group or school. They can connect in ways that feel natural and safe compared to the real-life dangers of real-life social interactions with peers.

So, how does this relate to youth ministry? First, it is important to realize the dangers of excessive video gaming.  It might mean we need to help heavy gamers see how their real-life relationships are suffering as a result of their screen time.  It might mean helping them find ways to disconnect in safe and fun ways. Second, realize that young guys are meeting a need through their multi-player video games that they are having trouble meeting in real-life.  Online gaming relationships feel safer, more controllable, and more exciting than those in real-life.  Expertise and confidence that can be found in quick thumb actions might be hard to find in a youth group event or get together. By providing safe, real places for guys to connect, real-life might become a bit more appealing than what they find in their video games.  Finally, talk to guys about video games.  They love playing them and they love talking about them.  For some guys, it is one of the only topics they feel comfortable talking about. Try moving these conversations to discussions of how the technology is changing their relationships and the way they communicate with one another. Consider connecting online gamers in your youth group with each other.  Challenge them to keep each other accountable, both in what they say online and how much time they spend gaming.

Video games are an important part of many teenage guys' lives.  We can't ignore the problems with them and we can't overlook the good things. We can, however, figure out how to use this technology as a way to connect to the deep-seeded needs and interests of the guys we work with.

October 2007 issue of the bimonthly peer-reviewed journal CyberPyschology & Behavior (Vol. 10, No. 5: 717–721).

The college students I talk with say that Facebook feels a little more controlled, they feel a little safer.  And, because the college kids have been using it, it feels more mature and classy for high school kids to log on to.  And, if that weren't enough, guess who the new target market is for Facebook?  Adults aged 25-50.  Can you imagine?  A student works so hard to build their social network away from their parents'  prying eyes and suddenly its located in the exact same place where their mom connects with all of her girlfriends?!  Something's gotta give. Many of my students are predicting Facebook may have made enough greedy decisions that their base market of college students may soon be looking for something better.

Still wondering where that leaves you as you wander in the social networking wildnerness? Let me clear up a few misperceptions.  First, Facebook may look more controlled and safer than MySpace, but future employers, stalkers, old boyfriends, and your mom can find you just as easily on Facebook as they could on MySpace.  Second, MySpace is not on its' last legs.  According to a study that just came out in the Journal of Computer Mediated Communication, race, parental income, even whether or not someone lives at home with the folks, are all predictors of which site they visit to connect to their social network. For instance, Asian and Asian-American students tend to use Xanga more than Facebook or MySpace.  Hispanic students tend to use MySpace more often. Students whose parents' highest education level is high school or below tend to use MySpace.  Those whose parents have graduate education usually use Facebook and Xanga.  Women tend to use any social networking site more than men and college-aged students who live with their parents are much less likely to use Facebook. In fact, those who are college-age and live at home and probably need online networking to more easily connect them with their friends are actually less likely to use any online social networking site at all.

So, what does that all mean? Kids are all over the place.  There isn't one social networking site that will catch every kid you work with.  And, keep in mind, over 44% of teens don't use any site at all. My guess is that the days of one big, bad social networking site are gone.  That makes our job a little more difficult, but also opens up some opportunities.  For instance, it means that you have to listen to your kids and ask them where they hang out online.  That requires we open the conversation. And that's a good thing.  Second, it means that kids may be more willing to change sites.  One of the youth groups I worked with had persuaded a number of guys to move their profiles to a specific Christian site. It wasn't long before a bunch of the girls were using the same site.  Much to the parents pleasure, the site was more easily monitored and cleaner.  And before the kids knew it, the entire group was connecting, sharing pictures, posting blogs, and socially networking just like they could on Facebook or MySpace, but in a place that was probably better suited for high school kids.

The bottom-line?  Technology is changing faster than we are. That doesn't mean we should quit and go back to fill in the blank Bible studies on Sunday nights.  It means we need to keep talking with our kids about their technology and figure out how to make the technology work for us. With a little work, we can find our kids and their friends, and become part of their very important social networks that are such a very important part of their teenage experience.

 How about a less flashy example.  You get a new phone and figure out how to text using just your thumbs.  Cool.  You send fun little messages to each of the guys in your youth group.  They think you are so "happening!"  As you sit and text more "hey, dude!" messages, two youth groups kids wander by unnoticed. 

 Technology can provide a GREAT way to get students' attention.  It can be an effective way to build connections with the students you work with.  It can also add to the noise.  If you are thinking about using some piece of technology, whether it be some cool video in youth group or a new Facebook page, stop and think about what the technology will give you--and what it will cost you.  Just like any tool, whether it be a hammer or a text message, technology needs to be used purposefully.  If the tool will help draw your students closer to Jesus Christ, then use it.  If the technolopgy is really cool and even a little fun, but does nothing to build important relationships or focus a message, then think twice. 

Our students have a lot of noise in their lives.  Whether it be t.v., IPods, cell phones, video games, or computers, they probably don't need more of the same.  In fact, sometimes what they need is silence. Its a scarey thing.  But silence might be what it takes for them to hear God's small, still voice.  Maybe a youth group event that disconnects students and focuses on silence would be more flashy and attention-getting than an expensive video or high-tech game.  Maybe a meeting at McDonald's or a walk down the sidewalk with a student would do more connecting than a thousand text messages.

So, before you get all wired up, think about what you want your technology to do.  Instead of yelling louder through the technological noise, you may just want to send a whisper to softly touch the heart of your kids.

You may have seen it in your youth group meetings.  Kids are sitting and standing right next to one another while they have conversations with friends miles away. They substitute virtual conversations for conversations that happen in real-time and in real life.  I wonder if our kids are missing out on "presence" or the act of being truly " in the moment". Quentin Schultz contemplates the issue by noting "we spend more and more time in front of technological screens and less and less time in face to face interaction with others" (p. 169).  Walter Ong argues that true presence, the kind that comes with face to face interaction, captures "our ongoing activities, our sense of who we are, where we are, and what we are currently thinking, feeling, hoping and fearing.  When we speak we invite another person to exist with us, to associate with us, to reciprocate in affirming mutual presence in real time" (p. 175).

Maybe thats a little philosophical, but I wonder what the impact is of sacrificing complex, real-life interactions with more controllable, virtual ones. You might want to challenge students when they spend more time texting during youth group than in actually enjoying being present within your group.  Ask them what kinds of things they might be missing by being online or what the group might be missing from their virtual absence. You might even have a great discussion about why we tend to detach from the here and now so easily--what the benefits and drawbacks are.  Although the idea of "presence" may be a bit developmentally advanced for students, it makes sense to get them to make intentional choices about the sacrifices they make when they pick up their cell phone. We just may be helping them make clearer and more real connections with the friends they value so much.